Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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