enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize