I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
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Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
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Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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