It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
