my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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