I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
