we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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