my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
