I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
