I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
