wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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