Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
