I love black thongs
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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