Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
