Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
