she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
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