Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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