I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
