Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
