i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
