So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize