Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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