Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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