thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I will die if light touches me.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
