If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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