It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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