why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
