i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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