OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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