U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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