I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
