Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
The convent might be a nice break from real life
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
