Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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