i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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