ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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