**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
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