you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
