They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
