belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
