So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
