she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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