It's Friday. Sex?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
