So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
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