All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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