11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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