You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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