found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
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I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
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By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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