During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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