i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
we should paint friendship bongs
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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