Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
