what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Randomize
