Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
