Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
We are two peas in an std pod
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
