Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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