I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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