Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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