Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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