Can Purell be used as lube?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
In America we eat man semen.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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