Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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