dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
