Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
