Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
