You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
