apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
