I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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