worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
