So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize